Well it has been 2.5 years since you passed away and a lot has happened. Right before you passed Micah had to either stay or leave POS and he opted to leave, we were hopeful in every way some how you would make it out alive, but unfortunately that was not the case, so we went back to FL for your funeral and the back up to VA to pack and move before Christmas, we moved in with Chip and Nancy for a couple of months, after in those few months POS called Micah and offered him his job back, so with no other prospects we found ourselves moving back up to VA. It was a bit of a crazy ride, I searched for jobs until a good friend of mine got me into Accenture. Fast forward some Micah and I found contentment living back up in VA, we felt that with everything else at that moment it felt right, cause god knows I was not sure I would be able to go back to Dunedin with all of it feeling way too much like something was missing and that was you.
Micah and I have been back for 2 years and we have been renting in a great neighborhood this past year with awesome neighbors and a great young family feel to it. We moved in January 2010, and within 2 weeks I was pregnant, finally Micah and I were on the same page to start a family and it took us no time at all, so of course as soon as we get settled into a place, in true Micah and Lizzie style (as you know we don't seem to go the easy route since we got married) we decide to add to our family instead of enjoying it for awhile, but we would not change it for the world. I gave birth to Jackson Barrett Roberts on October 14th 2010 at 4:09 pm and as I know I do not need to tell you because I felt your presences because I know there was no way I could have been that strong without you there, I had a c-section, just like you, he is amazing a true miracle and he brings so much happiness, which is what we needed with the loss we have had in our lives. I had wished so badly in that time that you would just walk in to be there for it all and I wish that a lot when I need your advice. I feel like I have been so strong over the years since you passed and now more then ever I struggle with how much I miss you, this is the time I feel like I need you when I am not sure what to do or I need to express to someone how I feel and since you have been through this you could tell me, because let's face it you always knew what to say to me even when it was the 100th phone call for the day. I just wish I had known I would not have had a lot more time with you once we left FL, I would have giving you a grand child maybe sooner so you could have been there or I would have never left or I could have asked you all the questions about motherhood and how you got through it, but I guess I can't do the would've, should've, could've, this was the cards that were dealt and they sucked.
I am sure as you have seen Jackson is great he is for the most part a really happy boy who loves to laugh and smile, unless he is hungry he gets a lot like his mom, mad, lol. He looks a lot like dad which I think is great, it is nice to see him in him as he has been gone for so long, right now he looks a lot like me too, when he was born he looked a lot like Micah now he is his mommy, I am pretty sure cause he has fattened up and got those round cheeks oh and no chin just like his us and Micah ;) He is a great sleeper at night, naps are touchy, but we deal, that is still a process. He is going to be tall which is great, the first thing the doctor said when she took him out was wow he has big feet.
We are in the process of trying to sell our condo in Dunedin, not the best time, but we are being hopeful that is all we can be.
Tomorrow is Micah and my 4 year anniversary, can you believe it, I can't believe it has been 4 years, we still appreciate and are in ah of what an amazing wedding you gave us, it was the best day of our life next to Jackson's birth and you were gorgeous that day and ever other day too, but just a lovely mother of the bride.
You would have been a great Nana and I am always sad that part of Jackson's life was robbed, he will always know about you and dad that is for certain. I show him your pictures everyday and tell him that you love him and how lucky he is to have 2 amazing guardian angels. I am also hoping that writing this to you will help me feel like I have filled you in on our lives over the past 2.5 years, though right now I am crying I know it will help in the long run.
I wanted you to hear this song, every time Micah and I hear it we think about you and there is never a dry eye from us.
I love you and miss you and hope if anything you are having fun with dad up there, sending you both hugs and kisses.